Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
