Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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