I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize