im about as happy as oj after his trial
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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