i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
