I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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