quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This is my gift to your gina
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
