At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
