I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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