The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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