I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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