need another drink. this is the easiest way
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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