dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
