I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
