My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
