you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.