So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My first STD was from a foam party
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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