I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
