I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
