Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Don't tell me you're on acid again
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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