I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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