i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
