ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have tasted many bathrooms
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
