Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
