ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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