I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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