you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
