Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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