forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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