You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
