I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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