I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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