only if we run a train.
done.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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