Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he thought i was a dude.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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