JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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