The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
