she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
