Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
