I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Duck Duck Cougar?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
