last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
