omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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