i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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