he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
