don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize