Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
