She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
