I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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