You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
