Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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