just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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