My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
