i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
