When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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