you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
