so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
