Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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