We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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