The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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