best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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