There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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