Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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