I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize