You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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