Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize