he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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