we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
