Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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