The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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