Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
